A Touching Whore Story...Romancing The Stone

A Touching Whore Story(With Real Hoes Too)

It was the year nineteen and ninety something. I figured I would not even try to remember the actual year, because most of the time I am way off. Half of the time I can’t even remember how old I am. Why bother to keep counting after thirty? Well, anyways, I was working at the airport, I was one of the guys that put fuel in the plane, good job. I am pretty sure it was mentioned here somewhere before. In those days I don’t think there was a day that, I did not smoke at least 3 blunts. The good old days, I tell ya. Weed was good, very good.
I had a few smoke buddies from the job, Dre and Derrick being the main ones I smoked with. We would all car pool to work, or from work, switching up from time to time. Dre had the better vehicle, so he was always the dude we rolled with. Sometimes we would do our own things, and splinter off. Like we would all go to the city, cop some herb, and dre would drop derrick and me off somewhere in midtown. It was always crazy back then walking around the city, high as hell.
Now I am silly, but derrick was silly, and crazy, not to mention the worlds biggest liar. I mean the dude would lie about the simplest shit, but we could not do anything but laugh our ass off at him. Everytime dre and me was in the whip ready to bounce, he would be like; “Lets see what this nigga going to lie about now”, as derrick was walking up to the truck. Good times.

Derrick may have lied his ass off, but he was still a good dude. Real fun to be around, there was always non stop laughing with him, or at him. Either way, it was all good back then. Once in a while on pay day, a Tuesday no doubt, we would go to the city to cop, and just bullshit the whole night. At this time 42nd street was a cesspool. This is before it was for the family and shit. The pimps and the hoes ruled 8th avenue. There was peep show places, and x rated spots all over. The golden palace was right there where the Loews movie theater is now. Or at least close by to where it was.

We always stayed with weed, and derrick was the type of dude that didn’t care, he would walk down 8th ave rolling a white owl in plain view. but these were the times that no one gave a shit. This one night we went, for some reason, we saw a cop every corner we went too. Derrick had the bright idea of going into the x rated movie theater to roll up a few L’s, and walk around looking for chickenheads. It was a spot, I think where some lion king thing theater place something is now. The admission was like 2 bucks. I kid you not, we walked in that shit, I felt like a world class freak. The floors were sticky as hell to my boots, and it wasn’t from gum and popcorn either. I wanted to get the fuck out of there. Derrick was laughing his ass off and talking shit. I don’t remember all he said, but I remember the feeling. We rolled them shits and got the fuck out, and walked around smoking and freestyling for an hour or so.

These days is when them smoke shops were popping something serious. We went to a few of them. Back then, I was buying all type of paraphernalia, from water bongs, to little chalices shaped like a cigarette. I loved the smoke shops. There was one that I would always go into. A few years before that from when I was hustling, I would go into one particular store, and leave my bags there, go uptown to re-up, come back, and shit stil there, bag still there. Id throw them a few dollars, because they would give me the decoy cans, the soda, Pringles, whatever. Good times.

They also sold “The Stone”. I had heard a lot about this thing. Allegedly, you are supposed to use the shit before you have sex, supposed to keep the dick up all night. The shit was in a small assed box, and I didn’t know what all the hub bub was about concerning it anyways. The little arab dude was always pushing me to get one before that. I didn’t get insulted until I found out what it was used for. I’m like, who told him what and when?!

Derrick and me left the store and went to the golden palace on the corner, to see some butt naked hoes, in the twenty five cent peep show. And also to roll another blunt. So we go in, and I think at the time, you had to buy tokens at the door or something, I don’t remember too well. But we go in, and derrick goes right too the doors where the live chicks are at. I go into one of the video booths, to start rolling this last L. so that the goons wont come and bang on the door, u had to throw some money in the slot. So I put in my little two dollars, after I broke down the white owl, and emptied it. I wasn’t paying any mind to what was on the screen at all, I was just rolling. i wasn’t quite finished, and the time was running out, so I throw another dollar in the slot, and I look up, and theres some chick getting fucked by a German Shepard. I mean in doggy style, it was real live doggy style. I wont front, I stopped rolling the blunt, and looked with my jaw dropped in amazement. My dick kind of crawled up into itself, it didn’t want any part of this action, and who could blame him? The movie stopped, and I finished rolling, and then I heard a dude yell out;

“SHITTTT, WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!”

It was derrick’s ass no doubt. I put the blunt in my inside jacket pocket, and go out, and see what the fuck is going on. I am thinking that we are going to have to be banging up in this spot or some shit. Dude comes out, holding his hand, he is in pain, but kind of snickering, and I’m like;

“Yo, what the fuck happened bee?

“Them little assed windows, the window, shut down on my hand before I could get more money in and shit”

“BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA, how the fuck you manage that shit yo?”

Now, I don’t know if this was a lie or not, but he did have some moments of brutal honesty, self depreciating humor I suppose”

“Yo, I had my hand in there, and I’m rubbing this bitches pussy right, and she telling me that I need to put more money in right, so I go to get some tokens out my pocket, and my pants fell down, so when I was trying to catch them, the fucking window closed down on my fingers and shit, he LOL’s”

“Word? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!”

“Yo, it aint that funny nigga, lol”

“Nah nigga, I’m laughing because you had your dick in the other hand, nasty ass nigga. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. You smoking none of this L nigga. Unknown pussy on one hand, and dick in the other, hells nah”

“Yo, we don’t have anymore herb”

“Yo, I’m going to go round the block, someone out here got some herb, I’m be back n a few minutes”

”Aight” Derrick said, “I’m going to go see what’s up with these hoes”

“Yeah, whatever nigga, you about to lose your other hand, lol”

The only reason I went instead of derrick, is because there was one time I gave him like 20 dollars to cop some weed around that area. This fool came back with what looked like a fat zip lock bag. I was souped up, until I tried to roll the shit. I kept wondering why the hell this weed was so hard, it was crumbling inside the white owl, so much that the blunt just broke in half. OH HELLS NAW!!! This nigga bought forty dollars worth of parsley. I was so fucking mad, I went back to the spot where the dude was at, or around, or where he could have been. Since then, derrick was not the one to cop weed, in the city. We went home that night defeated.

So, anyways, I get back to the club, there was no one around that time of night, and I wasn’t going to be asking around like foofoo the fool, and get bagged by some dt or some shit. I go upstairs, and I see derrick, and I tell him we should just go home, aint any weed out here, and that we could cop back home, at least I know I had a stash at home. Instead of agreeing, he tells me he was kicking it with some chicks, a couple of strippers that know a place in Brooklyn, where we could cop some herb. So, I am like where they at, he tells me they got off work in about 20 minutes. He tells me he thinks we can fuck them. Now, that confused me that he would say that. I mean, we were cool and all, but he was one of the funniest looking niggas I knew. And his girl, at the time looked like an ewok. So, I said the only thing I could think of;

“Yo, I aint paying these hoes to fuck, lol, you trying to trick it up huh?

“Nahhhh dawg, I am serious yo, just believe me, we about to get some smoke and chill with them”

“Man, what they look like?(questioning his taste, shit, aint theirs too)

One of them walked by, and this funny looking dude calls her name out, and she waves, and tells him, to give them like 15 minutes.

“Oh okay, I’m sold, I will be right back”

So, I go to the store down the street, and got like two packs of condoms, just in case. And so, I start wondering about this stone, I mean I did hear about it from the older cats that I grew up around, I never felt the need to use it, but I bought the shit that night.

So, I go back to the club, and everyone is about ready. One of the chicks already was rolling a blunt, and Derrick was all over her. She didn’t seem annoyed, she seemed amused. The other chick gravitated towards me. She was playing the shy role I guess. I ask a shit load of questions, the only thing I remember about her now is her name, Rochelle. We all hop in a dollar cab, to go to Brooklyn. The driver was cool, he even hit some of the blunt. We go to some weed spot in Brooklyn. In those times, it was all good, it was a store front, and you picked what you want from the weed chart. So, we all go in there, and each buy like forty dollars of some goods.

I was already getting ready to go home. I spent too much dough. I am pretty frugal, I got my weed, and I can get pussy anytime, and this chick Rochelle is acting all mousy. So, the other chick who’s name was Monroe told the driver to go to some motel, the star, or the Hollywood or some shit. Man I was not trying to go, because it would mean more money out of my pocket. I would’ve fucked both the chicks in the back of the cab, while the driver watched, and filmed. So, I go up to derrick;

“Yo, we can get just one room and shit.”

“I don’t know man, she said she wants a room to herself”

“You got to be shitting me, c’mon dawg, we will just throw the money down and ask for one room, fuck that”

A short stay is nothing, it has pretty much been the same for all eternity. So I slap the money down, which was like 40 bucks, BAM, one room! We’re in like Flynn. The other chick looks at derrick some type of way, and what do ya know? He had his own BAM, one room! Well, I’ll be damned. I think he loves her. That is the only way I could have explained that episode. He obviously loves her. He had to know her from somewhere. She did have one fat ass though. Damn I wanted to know if that cologne he bought earlier that week was a pussy magnet. No, she is in college, and this is clearly an experiment. An experiment to fuck with my emotions, and not to mention, my pockets.

We had rooms right next to each other, but we were all in the same room for a little while, smoking blunts and talking to the chicks individually. After like 3 blunts went around, derrick started pulling his girl off the bed to go to the other room. She put on some shorts, so I slapped her ass while she was walking out. PAP! “Don’t forget about me” I tell her. She giggles, oh, okay, its on.

Me and Rochelle start talking about a few things while she was breaking up the weed to roll another blunt. Now, while she was doing that, I went to take a piss. This is where “the stone” comes into play. I pull it out my shirt pocket, and read the directions like 3 times;

“Lather up the stone, and glide it on the vein of the penis”

Simple right? So, I go ahead, wash my hands, and lather up the stone and get to gliding that shit on the top and bottom veins of my dick. I planned on fucking the rest of the stay at this motel. I was nice and high, and I just felt kind of icky, for lack of a better term. I decided I’d take a quick shower. I go back in the room, take my clothes off, and ask Rochelle to join me. I mean, shit, I have no qualms about asking a broad to freshen up a bit. So, we get in the shower and all, and I am just squeezing that ass, and playing with her tits and everything. But there is a problem; my dick was not getting anywhere near hard. Not even a little bit. Its like it had all the intentions of getting hard, but it went on strike. YOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! My shit was numb. I had a limp dick. Holy shit! I mean, she is facing me, and she was considerably shorter than me, and man listen, im stooping down sucking tits and fingering her to no end. Still, nothing.

We get out the shower, dry off and everything. Sit on the bed, but naked at that. She is behind me kissing me on the neck, and rubbing my balls. NOTHING! Hell, all types of shit started running through my head. I was getting nervous, shit, I was nervous. I mean this chick is behind me doing what she can do, and I am sitting there, near tears. I was sitting there, with a weed influenced mind, believing that I had broken my dick. “I broke it.” That’s all I kept thinking. this went on, no lie for at least 30 minutes. I even started pacing around the room, I went in the bathroom and splashed cold water on m face, and then I took a washcloth, and tried to wash whatever influence the stone had on my dif, OFF! That seemed to make matters worse. My dick started to tingle. “OH SHIT, MY DICK IS GOING TO FALL RIGHT OFF!” This is what I get, trying to be “the man” and now I am going to be limp dick. When the tingling started, I think I did drop a tear. A single tear, in memory of the single dick I had before.

I start flipping the channels on the television. I re light the blunt, and turn and see some videos. A TLC video came on. And I guess I was alone with my thoughts. I always had a crush on Chilli, and I thought “Another woman I wont sex because I’m a limp dick bastard.” But then all of a sudden;

The Dick: “Aye, my bad yo, I think we are ready”

Me: like a scolding parent “Don’t you ever do that again! Ever!”

So I turn back to Rochelle and start messing around with her. My dick was at full strength. Ready to bang that pussy out something serious. We on the bed just grinding and everything, I go into my bag on the side of the bed to get the rubbers. Didn’t feel them in there, I empty the shit out, still nothing. I know I had gave Derrick a box, I bought two boxes, but I couldn’t find the one I had. I checked my jacket pocket, and they weren’t in there either. FUCK! So I go next door, after throwing my boxers on. Derrick comes to the door, and the dude had the fucking chain on at that.

“Yo, let me get a rubber”

“I don’t have any man.”

“What? Nigga, I gave you a box when we was in the cab”

“Nah, I don’t have them, I thought I did but…”

“Wait, ya’ll fucking? Why you hiding behind the door? Oh Shit!”

“See yo, wha…”

“Yall niggas raw dogging it?! Bwhahahahahahahaha”

“Yo man, see”

That was enough for me. I go back into the room, still hard than a motherfucker. Now the dick that couldn’t get up, does not want to go down. I tell Rochelle that I am going to the front to see if they got any rubbers. I get there, machine is broke, and they don’t sell them from behind the desk. I am starting to think that all of this shit was a sign. Had to be. And then my dick spoke up;

The Dick: “There’s a bodega up the block”

Me: “It’s like 6 am”

The Dick: “This is Brooklyn, its open, run, run fast”

O, here I go, with these tight assed work uniform pants on, no shirt, and some boots. Running the hell up the street like I just killed a nun or some shit. Holding my pants because I didn’t even bother to buckle or zip them up. My dick was right, there was an open store. So I go in, breathing hard and shit, I slap 5 dollars on the counter. BAM!

“Yo, let me get a box of rubbers”

“Papi, you can no come in here with no es-shirt papi”

“Look at me yo”

“So-kay, you no can do this sagain”

I don’t even get my change. I bolt out hauling ass back to the motel. I get back into the room, and this was the first time I uttered these words;

“I am going to fuck your brains out”

Which I did. I hate to brag, but um, I put in serious business. I fuck to win. Man listen, i fucked that chick in every corner of the room, on the thing the tv was on, on the chair in the corner, we threw some sheets down on the floor, fucking like animals there. It was a mad house, and she was the loudest woman I have been with up to that point. I mean, she was so loud, that I had to cover her mouth in the hopes that there wouldn’t be any complaints. That shit turned her on even more. It was ridiculous, but well worth it. Her co-worker and Derrick came over banging on the door, Rochelle answers it, hiding behind the door;

“Aye girl, you okay?”

“Hell Yes!”

Closes the door. About 40 minutes later, we are still fucking, the phone rings and they tell us its time to bounce. I tell the dude that I will send my boy down with 10 extra dollars for another hour. I call up Derrick in the next room to do that for me, he agrees. I give him the money, he asks me what he should do. I ask him to wait. He actually waited the whole extra hour. I continue to slay this chick, for the next hour. And on many other occasions. I would go to her apartment in Kingsbridge to do noting but fuck. Nice. But when I leave the room, Derrick is out there chilling, smoking a blunt. We walk ole girl out to the street, where she hails a cab. We opt to take the train.

“Damn sonnnnn, you was murdering that bitch, yo, ole girl was worried and shit”

“Word?”

“Yeah nigga, after we went back in the room, she was asking about yo ass nigga, we just stopped and shit”

“How the fuck we get home?”

“I dunno, I’m tapped, I didn’t tell you, that bitch stole my money and shit”

“BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”

“