The Complaint Line

384-7636

Favorite Joke of All Time

Two harelips, Willy and Joe, just finished up two hard weeks’ work on a Kansas farm. Seeing as it was payday, they got all slickered up and decided to blow some of it on a night on the town. On the way into town, Willy, the brains of the pair, began discussing plans for the night. “Lnet nit lnaid” he suggested.
“Onay,” chimed in Joe, eyes lighting up.
After a little further thought, Willy reflected, “Ya know, weewn not gunna nit no regner girwols winth these harwips. Lnets not mess arown, lnet’s nit some whors.”
“Onay,” Joe says happily.
“we better nit some wubbers. Don’ want some whors to nive us the dwip.” So Joe was dispatched into the pharmacy with fifty cents. “Huh?” said the pimpled faced teenage behind the desk in answer to the request.
“Wubbers, you know, are-you-be-be-ee-are-wes, wubbers!” said Joe.
“Gee, I’m sorry fella, I must not be hearing right’” said the clerk, and an embarrassed Joe returned empty handed to the car. “Onay,” said Willy after much thought, “you go back in there ‘n you snay weal swolly: I wnant some pwo-fil-act-wics. Snay it weal swol ‘n enpaswize eah swilable.” Off went Joe, only to return again dejected and empty-handed.
“All white Joe,” proposed Willy, “now you do exactwy what I tell you to do. You go in nere ‘n you unzwip your pnants ‘n you way fitty tents on the countner ‘n den you way your dick up nere, too, ‘n he should gnet the idea.” Joe marched into the store but burst out a few moments later, in tears and so frustrated that it took Willy nearly ten minutes to get the story out of him.
Tearfully, Joe began. “Willy, damwit, I did ex-actwy what you tol’ me to do. I walked in nere, I waid fitty tents on the counter, I waid my dick up nere too, and you know what he did?!”
“What?” asked the anxious Willy.
“Well, he unzwipped his pnants, waid his dick on the countner, ‘n said his dick was two ninches longer than my dick ‘n he took my fitty tents.”