voo doo

i am reading up on it. there is no reason all this fucking hair should be in my presence. and what i am going to do what my therapists told mr to do is payback shit. well. i dont have the money. but have gifts. the baby wont miss the electronic keyboard anyways. since it was givin in bullshit i guess. what do i need a psp for? dont need the shit either. missed out on selling it due to dumb ass reasons. i guess whn you have rent to pay, tou will do anything. perhaps i am the descendant of a witch. why her spell book disappeard is beyond me. someone in the family has it. i will find the shit damnit.

Breathe I wont die, not for another 40 years I think.

so, i started something new maybe a couple months ago. of course this would leave anyone to say...

"Well, why are you posting such things in your blog?"

My answer plain and simple is because I can, and ant to. if i am bored i most definitly will> it is my nature. now anyone that knows me, personally, knows that I am a good guy. shit. even people that dont know me like that knows that. for some reason, esp at work, people always have some reason to tell me their craziest deepest darkest secrets. for some reason. the only thing is that i dont reciprocate, because when you do, and the person wasnt a friend, they will come back and throw it in your face. but i had to come to terms with my postings and writings. and i guess from the emails i recieved alot of people think it is classic/funny and want me to continue. i guess i could for the enjoyment of the people.i stopped drinking, and have also decided to stop smoking during the winter months. it is way too cold to go outside to smoke anything, including reefer. one of my biggest issues is respect, and if i feel i am not being respected, i lash out like a crazy forrest animal. that is alot of people i guess. but i cannot talk for anyone else, only for myself.

shit. so i re-meet this girl from years ago. and as soon as we talked it was like we started right where we left off. we see each other from time to time. but the more i see her the more i have to be with her. the good thing is she accepts me for who i am. she doesnt care what i have or dont have. that i smoke or drink. or anything. the shit is true. i cannot expose her at the moment because we have very very strange situations. whats funny is that we havent seen each other for years, and from the moment that we met back up, she tells me that we should have never parted. and of course me beng me, i say 'well, your ass left" and her reply was/is "im sorry" so that shuts me up right there because how many real women apologize. the shit is refreshing. because of her own situation, she knows that if need be, i will do my thing, and she canr say anything. but let her catch me out at a club/bar dancing or flirting with some chick. i know i would hear it. evenm though she has no right to say anything. but i respect her enough to cut it out. if i could i would marry her in a heartbeat. make alot of babies, and just be happy. but at the moment it will take some time. it wouldnt be right if i meet a chick, nd say "if so and so is free, your a goner" it wouldnt be, but this is why i explain my assholism from the door. i can always go back and say "hey, i told you i was an asshole, why are you shocked?"