Ordinary Sleep Patterns

With friends like these, who needs enemies? I sure don’t. I just don’t get it sometimes. Maybe I am not supposed to get it. Perhaps I should just sit down, don’t say anything, never voice my opinions. Which, I only try to do when I am asked to. I haven’t wrote anything on this blog in a long time, and wasn’t too interested in it anymore, until a show that I watch came on. And the theme of this episode was commitment issues. And I thought about a certain situation. I thought about a ton of situations.

I’ve said before that lack of sleep, and anxiety attacks make me write. Today, luckily I am suffering from both. I went to sleep earlier this afternoon, highly upset about something, so pissed that I dreamt of it, and the dream pissed me off, and it woke me up. Its like, have you ever asked someone a question, and they either don’t answer, get mad that you asked, or completely try to be evasive of flip it around. Those type of games are ridiculous. It’s like the current administration. So secretive and misleading, yet arrogant and unknowing of their own blunders. Kind of like, they pick and choose when they want to give a fuck. But expect you to roll with it, and or gets mad when you don’t understand just what they are dong. But don’t ask them shit, or its curtains.

BREAK 1

Man, what a weird dream for that short time I was sleep. I dreamt I worked as a financial advisor, but the office was in some sort of sex shop. Very weird. One of the female managers told me she like me, and I seemed to be too good of as person to be in that line of work. I will have to chalk that up as me eating chicken again before I went to bed. Damn, it is always the chicken. I never have weird dreams with pasta. Doesn’t matter, I am always going to have vivid dreams, I just wont tell anyone anymore. Just gives them more reason to disrespect me, or call me weird. Everyone is a fucking judge. I am going back to sleep. My last break was too short. I haven’t had much sleep, due to an overwhelming anxiety attack. Usually, I will go outside, and have a smoke or something, but it snowed today, and the cold air is unforgiving. I did opt to walk around the block a couple of times, however. I paid the penalty, got some snow in my boot, now my foot feels frostbitten. It is time for another break.

BREAK 2

It is now like 3:30pm. I slept for a long time, but I am still super tired. Had a dream that I was living in the same house with my father that was weird. The whole shit was weird, I had a shit load of shirts that were obviously too small, but I put them in the closet anyways. I then left out, and went somewhere on the train. I was traveling with someone, and we kept running for the damn train, I know my hand had got stuck in the door, and I told them to go on. Told them I would catch up. Somehow I got to the top of he subway car, and was going to go ahead and climb down to the car my friend was in, but they hit a button, and I just fell into some vehicle. Weird, maybe they just dint want me around. But I took this vehicle, and drove to my old neighborhood, where a cop, was just shooting people like wildfire. I got the hell from there, that’s for sure. I think I am aggravated now is because someone was banging on my door, and they knocked on the shit like they were the fuzz or some shit. And I hate to be woken up like that. No one died, so stop the bullshit knocking. I am still groggy, and I haven’t even been drinking. And on that note, I’m going to get some merlot, have a glass or two, and go back to sleep. I got to shake this unwanted feeling of feeling unwanted, and disrespected.