SUNDAY RANDOM THOUGHTS ~~~ AND I DO MEAN RANDOM

There are no worthy candidates running for president. I seriously do not know who is going to get my vote this election. I would elaborate on as to why, but I’m in one of them fuck it moods.

Boy oh boy, this year has been crazy. This week I am going to a funeral of another family member. This makes number ten this year, or one from last year, and 9 this year. Fucking bananas. RIP Uncle Jimmy. At some point you become numb to it all, because it is happening so often. Maybe I need to re read the secret, which was doing wonders for me in June of this year. My swagger may be about 89% back.

The dreams I have are fucking crazy now. I dreamt I was involved with some chick, and I traded my Mercedes in for a Honda accord. It was too damn weird, then the broad started hitting me, and made me buy her make up, and then tried to put the fucking make up on me because I was pale and sickly looking, and my head was three times the normal size of normal people, so she was calling me “ye ole palette face.” I would get mad at the name calling, stick my thumb in my mouth, and float away. While I was up in the air floating, I saw that I left my credit card, and before I could get back down, the chick snatched it, went and bought more make up, and over charged the shit out of it. But alls well that ends well. She gave me some brain, and it made it all worth it. Fucking weird. Maybe I need to start drinking again, because taking vitamins and eating healthy just isn’t doing it for me.

My kid brother has one more fucking time call me in the wee hours of the morning like someone just died or something. I don’t think even in my twenties I had late night drunk calls, that didn’t involve getting some pussy.

I am really rather impressed with this whole beer strike now. A friend down the street told me he was getting a mess load of those big assed keg cans of Heineken. Wasn’t even tempting to me. I’d pat myself on the back, but with no real liquor intake, there is nothing to mask the pain that can happen when your, over 30 year old body is reaching for places that should require a wooden fork instead.

Oh, I am very random. For some reason, I have been looking up all the dead wrestlers, causes of death and shit. Damn, they were fucking themselves up. No story more foul than the Von Erich kids. Talk about family curse. They were my favorites as a kid too. WCW was the shit back then, I think it was wcw. I don’t really watch wrestling like that anymore, but I don’t think they use managers like they used too. I am comparing it to hip-hop and the decline of the dee-jay.

I would like an ocean spray beverage right about now.

I think I may have to change my randomness. Because I may be attracting just what I am, crazy people. But the thing is, is that I am admittedly crazy. Last year, I think, I was dealing with some crazy chick from my job. It was going to be nothing but a jump off. These are things you just know. Besides, we already went there with that. So, the broad comes to my apartment. We are sitting down after I brought her a drink. We are just chit chatting about random stuff, I compliment her blouse. I guess the drinks was getting to me, I never compliment anything. She pulls her breast right out her blouse. I’m like, “hell yeah!!!!” Never one to be outdone by somebody, I pull my dick out. I know what you’re thinking, that it is about to go down. Not at fucking all;

“What are you doing?”

“Uh, what do you mean?”

“Why would you pull your dick out?”

“Tit for tat, tat being the nick name of my dick at the moment”

To her credit, she wasn’t that smart. Which is why this is just a jump off situation. If she couldn’t get the humor in that statement, there was no way this could go further than what it was. I mean, just a few days before when she came over, it pretty much went down the same way. Except she took her shirt off while saying how hot it was. This time she was clearly appalled though;

“Is that all you want to do? All you want to do is fuck me?”

“Oh, you want your tiddays sucked huh?”

“No, I don’t, I just want to talk, it doesn’t have to be about sex all the fucking time.”

“Uh huh, you do realize you pulled your tiddays out right?”

“I’m going the fuck home!”

That’s typically how shit goes round these parts some times. She did call a day or so later to explain that her shrink gave her a new happy pill to start using. Fucking lexapro struck again I guess. I can laugh now because I did some “testing” with it at one point. Say no to happy pills and yes to marijuana.

Had a long talk on the phone with my mother, and she told me some more shocking news from the past. Boy oh boy, I’m going to have to write a movie on this one person we discussed. I need to start asking her if I could record some of our conversations, they are always revealing.

Today time went back a couple of hours. Thank goodness for cable boxes, 24 hour news shows and a computer with autonomy, I don’t have to sit around fucking around with some clock.

My mother’s vcr still blinks 12:00, I refuse to correct it.

A friend just asked me outside, where was the liquor, I guess because it is so cold. Sadly, I had to inform her that I stopped drinking. But seriously, I could relapse because she could get the dick 8 days a week. And twice on double Sunday, because in my world, everyday is Saturday, and there are two Sundays.

I don’t care if what I wrote above made any sense. Chances are I am too advanced for most readers. I think way to fast, even for myself sometimes. I think so fast at times that my mind gets stuck, I lose my breath, I start to drool, and I pass out. Some people would argue that it could have been the acid I just took. But, I disagree.

I read some more bible passages last night/early morning. Do you know that if you lived in early testament time, there was always a big chance that God would get pissed, and get his smite on? Instant smite, from no where, well you knew where from, but you know what I mean. Man if I had the power to smite. I am thinking of testing a theory, it may fail miserably, but I’m thinking if I was to accidentally or purposely killed someone, that would be my defense in court. Or if I was defense lawyer, that would be the defense;

“Your honor, I did not murder that person, I had to smite them.”

The term is far better, and easier on the ears, than kill or murder. To murder is to sin, but to spite is divine.

At one point my kid’s mom wanted my, not yet born child’s middle name to be celestial, what the fuck was she thinking?

You know the online world is really the same as the real world, and the real world is a television show on MTV, and since it is on MTV, it has to be real, right? That being said, real life is as what we see on television. Phony, there are phone people everywhere you turn. Unfortunate for me, I tend to give a lot of people the benefit of the doubt. People from out of no where, from online will send me messages because due to this blog, my life is as open as I want it to get. For instance, there was an instance when a chick sends me a message about how her ex, doesn’t want to spend time with his kids since the divorce, and she and they were hurt by that. And just was sending me “some love” because they were aware of how much I love my daughter. But on the other hand saying I was fucked up because I exposed motherfuckers on here. Then draw there on conclusions for some shit they know nothing about, or do they? Hmmmmm. You just cant trust anyone. Too bad for them, I guess hubby got tired of some middle aged drunk woman, that he met while they where dancing on top of club speakers back in the day. Go get some Chablis wine and shut the fuck up.

My shoulder is in so much pain. I refuse to take pain killers. I cannot understand anyone that has to take pills all the fucking time. I mean, if it was a matter of life and death, then yeah. But to pop a million pills a day to have an artificial life? I mean, what if you are a very, very ugly person? There are no pills to correct that shit. At the end of the day you are still ugly. I mean, some would argue that maybe they want to be healthy. Okay, that’s fine and all, but do we really want ugly people to live that long? Some people are so ugly that, when you see them by accident, you spit out your coffee, and go to the nearest church to pray for sinning against their eyes. I have some pictures of myself floating around, from when I was a kid. I was very ugly, and that is why I got scheduled ass beatings. My parents were trying to beat the ugly out of me. I know now that this is why I was getting thrown around like a rag doll. Because, I was so gruesome. Yes!!! I remember when I was a kid, and my mom took me to the pet shop to get me some fish. I pressed my face to the glass and said helloooo fishieessss, and the motherfucking fish swam to the top of the tank and pulled down a shade. No fucking lie. I ran down the corridor, my mom was pointing and laughing at me, and a puppy took a shit, ate it, and spit it at me on my way out the door. This does not happen to attractive people. Matter of fact, my best friend as a child was a Puerto Rican that could not speak any English. I did not know until years later what “usted es un maricon feo” meant, and that’s all he ever said to me. One night I prayed to Jesus, to make me attractive, the next day I got a post card that read; “Re: Prayer, Out of office, will return: never.”

What’s funny about any of these references to ugly aren’t about physical beauty(except me), it is about character. If your character is ugly, if you are mean spirited, and vicious just a fucked up person, that makes you ugly. And when your looks fade, or when people get to know you for who you really are, and your character is ugly, than the outside doesn’t mean shit. But if you are ugly inside and out, then keep taking them vitamins.

Was mighty joe young the movie supposed to be a rip off of king kong? I’m sure it is, but I have never watched the entire movie. Something about giant gorillas and shit make me nervous. It seems racist somehow. Its like they are always about OJ Simpson and his pursuit of Nicole.

I like to think way outside the box.