Do You Master Your Bation?

but damn I thought this was the time. Another let down huh? Oh fucking well, maybe next year guys.

Okay, these words would be nothing but random thoughts I guess. The topic of interest for me is Masturbation. Masturbation and the existence of God, that is. You know for many years I though that God was watching me in every step I made. I swear for the longest I would feel so guilty about whacking off. I really believed that God was watching me like a sick fuck, and putting it down in the book of my fuck ups. I used to believe that when it was my rime to go to the pearly gates, and when they rolled the footage(which would take months to view) of me jerking off, I would go directly to hell. In a hot sweet where murderers and rapists jerked off and flung their nut on each other or something.

Sick shit!!! But that's what religion does to people, it fucks them up for life if they continue to be bound and shackled to the lunacy of believing in invisible beings. I swear for a long tim I felt so guilty after busting them nuts. Before I had access to porn, in my pueberty stage, I would fuck all type of broads that I knew. Teachers and shit, chicks that I crushed on, even the snooty bitches that thought they were so fly. Hell, I remember having sex with Roxanne Shante, because KRS ONE said she was good for steady fucking.

But all those times, after I achieved the goal I had set out for, I felt guilty. I would look around and be like, "maybe God aint see me, my shades be closed, ha!" Didn't work, still felt guilty.

But Ohhh Haaa Haaaa, don't have any of those issues now. I will put it down with reckless abandon these days. As I see it, it is safer than me going out and fucking any old scallywag, as I was accustomed too in years past. And it isn't cheating either, I mean I can fuck who I want too and still look my girl in the eyes. I mean I was alone that's not stepping out boo.

You ever try to jerk off in a room where there are other present? That is some funny shit. When I was a kid, there were a couple of sisters down the street named Donna and Monie. Donna was a freak. I guess I can say she molested me, but in hindsight all she did is show me a technique that I still use to this day. This chick taught me how to hump my bed. I think she did, I mean how else would I have learned. I remember I would go to her house around the age nine or ten so we could dry hump. I mean it would just be her, me and her sister on the bed dry humping our asses off. Mone was the stunner then, but her nose was always snotty, but she made a good dry humping delight.

I recall a time when my grandmother's sister came down from Boston, and took me to chill in NYC for the weekend, when I was about twelve or thirteen. Her boyfriend Chuck, her and me had a great time. We went to the race track, went to a museum and stuff, great fun. She had a suite in a hotel, a big ass room which was kind of sectioned off, where I slept on the sofabed. That night is probably the night puberty kicked in, or was at least in full gear.

Charlie and my aunt was in the bed and she was fast asleep, snoring and the whole nine. I figured this was the time. So I get to it. I am humping that motherfucking bed. There was a problem though; Charlie talked in his sleep. And not only did he talk in his sleep, he had a severe stuttering problem. So I'm there in the bed thinking of whoever I was thinking of. I never imaginary fucked anyone famous, that was just too sick. I fucked the average chick. But listen right, I'm trying to get one off, by that time I figured that a good nut will have you sleeping nicely. And I'm trying, but all I hear is Charlie having what seemed like war flashbacks in his sleep.

I mean here I am trying to bust one off and all I hear is dddddDON'T ddddddDON'T ddddd daaaaaaaDON'T da da da da da da Don't do that Sam, ppppp pp paaaa paaaLease DdddddDont!

What the fuck?!!! Was this nigga spying on me? And who the fuck was Sam? That shit made me so mad I just stood up, walked near to where they was laying down and was like COME THE FUCK ON MAN!!!!!

The only problem is that my preteen dick made my pajama pants look like a TeePee. I learned then a hard dick will make you make the absolute worse decisions.

Needless to say, my aunt never took me to the race track again. I guess my actions were unpreDicktable.

Fin.