Hot Daaaaaaaammmmnnnn
Man listen, you ever feel like skipping? That's how I feel right now, I feel like skipping like a lil blind lesbian in a fish market! POW!!!
I dodged a bullet like a mugg. My life hasn't been worthy of canonization by any means. Just read the blog, I fucked so much I am surprised I don't get a check for my services. But I got down with a chick once a long time ago, it was brief, pretty much one and done. Strapped up and everything. But Wheeew.
Lemme explain. When I can't sleep, I stay up(duh) and get online and look for the most random shit I can find.
Tonight it was dead porn stars night. I was wondering about the Aids and suicide rate is with those performers. I had thought of a chick from the only porno tape I had since like eigth grade. Her name was Jordan McKnight. Lawd she was fine, just my speed. Chocolate skin, full lips, great tits and ass. The epitome of what a Black woman should be, in my eyes anyway.
With all the porn I have watched since having that one video tape, I wondered why I didn't see her anymore. So I looked her up. I remember hearing she got the package. The monster. The three letter deader. So I'm searching, can't find her. Know what that means? Yup, ADHD rears its head, and I get sidetracked. So I happen upon this website called pink cross. Holy crap, it was made by a former star who is born again or something and wants to stop the evils of the industry. I was reading about the std statistics, and the deaths and the suicides. Some eye opening stuff. Oh, I also learned that even that industry is bigoted. I saw no mention of any Blacks that died for their craft. At least I didn't see pictures of any.
Let's just say this. I think my porn addiction might be over after reading some of that shit. Because if I'm looking and watching while one hand mouse clicking, shit will be in the back of my mind. "Oh she aint creaming, that ghonnorhea!" Or "Wow, I wouldn't eat that pussy if I were you, that looks like a simplex there buddy.". So now one of my last small pieces of some freedom is fading away. Great!!! Thanks internet!!!
You know I went way around the country to get back to my original point of dodging a bullet? I'm one long winded fucker. So I briefly had a fling with a single mom maybe three years ago. When I say brief. I mean brief. Long story short, we smash, I'm amaziing blah blah blah. Something weird went down and I left briefly after I gave her the amazing blah blah blah. But while looking at all these sites, I see all these links, clink a few. I see a support website for sex addicts. I click, I browse. Holy Shit, why does she have a pic in her profile? Why does she have more kids than I was told? Why is she on welfare living in a nice ass house? Why did she admit to fucking 16 different dudes in February? I'm no mathematician but isn't that like a different guy, no wait one guy every other day? Perhaps gangbang? "GASPS"
Thank De Lawd Fo Magnums!!!!!!
(Crowd cheers!!!!!)
Dodging Bullets!!!!
Friday, January 08, 2010
Grown Ass Man Style Kyle While While You Wild Out Child...
I am feeling so relieved these days. I've been so tired and out of it. The winter does that to me I guess. Traveling in the cold is not my cup of tea either, but I do it if necessary. Sometimes you have to understand the necessary, the needs, the bare essentials and put the wants on the wayside. Everything you want isn't good for you.
This year I started doing a ton of open mic shows. Comedy that is. And I think that I can be pretty good at it. I actually believe I can be great at it. All it takes is time and being steady on the grind with it. Which is something I can do, if it didn't require so much work. Hell, I'm lazy, what else can I say. I think the key for me would be, less beer and more be there.
I don't know but for some reason this whole week has been liberating. I sat in the house packing and cleaning, just being nostalgic about the time here. Seems like last week we moved in here. Soul searching, a lot of it. Seeing things for what they truly are and not what I wished they were. Taking accountability for what I do, and what I bring to myself.
For a long time I would take it personal if someone didn't like me, or didn't feel the same way about me as I do for them. Its like fuck it. What am I supposed to do? Cry? I have before, I won't now. I don't know how to kiss ass, brown nosing just never sat right with me. These days I just listen more intently. I try to do everything with an unmatched intensity. But I listen the best.
I listen for tones and change of speech and so on. I'm better equipped to pick up on bullshit quicker than I have before. And that's probably because I am a master bullshitter myself, I just didn't know when I was being conned. Them days are over. Words mean nothing unless you say them the right way. But the words you do say, that have a meaning behind, make sure you mean it. LOL, I don't know what has happened in a span of a few days, but I feel renewed. Its like looking in the mirror and asking myself; why am I doing this, why am I doing that?
My position in life is not where I want it to be, but I'm not mad about it. If there any failures I have it is me and me alone that have caused them. I can't give up on what I want. I can't allow myself to be sidetracked by wants and bullshit any longer. It feels good, I like it. Its going to last. It has too. Or I won't.
Let's go!
This year I started doing a ton of open mic shows. Comedy that is. And I think that I can be pretty good at it. I actually believe I can be great at it. All it takes is time and being steady on the grind with it. Which is something I can do, if it didn't require so much work. Hell, I'm lazy, what else can I say. I think the key for me would be, less beer and more be there.
I don't know but for some reason this whole week has been liberating. I sat in the house packing and cleaning, just being nostalgic about the time here. Seems like last week we moved in here. Soul searching, a lot of it. Seeing things for what they truly are and not what I wished they were. Taking accountability for what I do, and what I bring to myself.
For a long time I would take it personal if someone didn't like me, or didn't feel the same way about me as I do for them. Its like fuck it. What am I supposed to do? Cry? I have before, I won't now. I don't know how to kiss ass, brown nosing just never sat right with me. These days I just listen more intently. I try to do everything with an unmatched intensity. But I listen the best.
I listen for tones and change of speech and so on. I'm better equipped to pick up on bullshit quicker than I have before. And that's probably because I am a master bullshitter myself, I just didn't know when I was being conned. Them days are over. Words mean nothing unless you say them the right way. But the words you do say, that have a meaning behind, make sure you mean it. LOL, I don't know what has happened in a span of a few days, but I feel renewed. Its like looking in the mirror and asking myself; why am I doing this, why am I doing that?
My position in life is not where I want it to be, but I'm not mad about it. If there any failures I have it is me and me alone that have caused them. I can't give up on what I want. I can't allow myself to be sidetracked by wants and bullshit any longer. It feels good, I like it. Its going to last. It has too. Or I won't.
Let's go!
Thursday, January 07, 2010
It's Been A Long Time...Sorry To Have Kept You...Without A Hot Blog To Step Too....
Uggghhhhh. Been off my grind for a long hot ass minute. So many things new. So many things old. I'm probably drinking more than usual. But less than I was ten years ago. Maybe not less, but then again, now that I think about it I've started going back to the bar. And since I happen to be the token Negro there, people buy me shots.
And then when they think I am drunk, they ask for some drugs at a discounted rate, or a freebie. What Deeee Fuck? I'm like I'm wearing a work uniform you bastard! Because I am the ONLY Black guy, you assume I deal in drugs? Now that is some preposterous shit. Sighs.
I have found a new hate, a new venom. I hate reality tv. I shouldn't even say tv, but the people that are on them. The people who get a bit of low class fame from them, and believe they are a talented person. I mean it has gotten so bad that I miss seeing Paris Hilton. I mean I am just fine with one dumb talentless bitch on the scene, but now there is a plethora of lunatics roaming the airwaves.
I know of only a few shows. I can honestly say that I have watched the flavor flav show, I watched a marathon of the real world Seattle just to see the gay Black guy slap the shit out of the white chick. I spent an entire day watching that show. An entire day. I figured that my stolen cable could get cut off at any minute, so I better get what I'm paying for while I'm not paying for it.
There's a show about some couple with like eight babies. And what pissed me off is that I am watching a regular ass news program, and I get an update about the bitch's new hairdoodoo. WTF?! Hasn't there been a shoot out in Brooklyn? Is there not a car chase in Jersey? Why the fuck is this shit on my morning news? Is it cold outside? Tell me some fucking news!! Shit, tell me some olds, something!
Ya know, I'm about to move again, and cut the cable tv off, so I am relegated to basic tv. There is a show called TMZ. I swear to you that this has got to be the saddest shit I have ever seen. The people who work on this program must have the lowest self esteem in the entire universe. You are following "celebs" around. You are following Fake celebs around. Your life must suck.
You know who I blame? Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr. Yes, Perez SuperFag Hilton. Here's the funny thing about this guy. I read he wanted to be an actor, but must have sucked horribly. Because he's a queer, and you mean to tell me he couldn't suck enough Hollywood dick to get a job on screen like 50 percent of the actors there? So no, he was sooooo mad that he was horrible, that he decided to gossip about people in the industry. Oh, and he's Cuban. If my name was Mario Armando, I'd have more than two kids.
Tell me, why are the Kardashian chicks famous? Why was the Hilton bitch famous? Why is Tila chick famous? These mother fuckers have NO talent! What are they even making a difference in? Michael Jackson didn't die of cardiac arrest, he died because he turned on the boob tube and saw that there were some untalented fucktards that were getting more shine than he was. It must suck suck suck for people that worked hard at their craft, to see people like this getting ANY attention at all. The fans have become the stars, and I cannot wait until the shit literally hits the fan.
I'm back on my grown man shit.
And then when they think I am drunk, they ask for some drugs at a discounted rate, or a freebie. What Deeee Fuck? I'm like I'm wearing a work uniform you bastard! Because I am the ONLY Black guy, you assume I deal in drugs? Now that is some preposterous shit. Sighs.
I have found a new hate, a new venom. I hate reality tv. I shouldn't even say tv, but the people that are on them. The people who get a bit of low class fame from them, and believe they are a talented person. I mean it has gotten so bad that I miss seeing Paris Hilton. I mean I am just fine with one dumb talentless bitch on the scene, but now there is a plethora of lunatics roaming the airwaves.
I know of only a few shows. I can honestly say that I have watched the flavor flav show, I watched a marathon of the real world Seattle just to see the gay Black guy slap the shit out of the white chick. I spent an entire day watching that show. An entire day. I figured that my stolen cable could get cut off at any minute, so I better get what I'm paying for while I'm not paying for it.
There's a show about some couple with like eight babies. And what pissed me off is that I am watching a regular ass news program, and I get an update about the bitch's new hairdoodoo. WTF?! Hasn't there been a shoot out in Brooklyn? Is there not a car chase in Jersey? Why the fuck is this shit on my morning news? Is it cold outside? Tell me some fucking news!! Shit, tell me some olds, something!
Ya know, I'm about to move again, and cut the cable tv off, so I am relegated to basic tv. There is a show called TMZ. I swear to you that this has got to be the saddest shit I have ever seen. The people who work on this program must have the lowest self esteem in the entire universe. You are following "celebs" around. You are following Fake celebs around. Your life must suck.
You know who I blame? Mario Armando Lavandeira Jr. Yes, Perez SuperFag Hilton. Here's the funny thing about this guy. I read he wanted to be an actor, but must have sucked horribly. Because he's a queer, and you mean to tell me he couldn't suck enough Hollywood dick to get a job on screen like 50 percent of the actors there? So no, he was sooooo mad that he was horrible, that he decided to gossip about people in the industry. Oh, and he's Cuban. If my name was Mario Armando, I'd have more than two kids.
Tell me, why are the Kardashian chicks famous? Why was the Hilton bitch famous? Why is Tila chick famous? These mother fuckers have NO talent! What are they even making a difference in? Michael Jackson didn't die of cardiac arrest, he died because he turned on the boob tube and saw that there were some untalented fucktards that were getting more shine than he was. It must suck suck suck for people that worked hard at their craft, to see people like this getting ANY attention at all. The fans have become the stars, and I cannot wait until the shit literally hits the fan.
I'm back on my grown man shit.