Here ye here ye. Women on the rag. Yes, I know it is a very crass way of explaining it, but what other way to explain it. Now, the thing is that it is something that we men do not necessarily appreciate it, because of the out of no where mood swings and the constant bullshit attitude that goes along with it. Its more like a gift and a curse. Because if the shit doesn't come, man we are shitting bricks, hoping that the calendar on the fridge is from last year, and there has been some sort of miscalculation. And nine months later, while you are feeling queasy, you come to terms that it really wasn't a tumor after all.
It is my belief that women should warn you when it is due for arrival, at least 2 days in advance. However that isn't enough warning, because sometimes the calm before the storm isn't calm at all. Its more like a storm cloud that scares the shit out of you. But because of impending doom, there is no transportation from the general area. In short, your fucked, regardless. Times like these make a woman that has went through menopause already extremely attractive. but, I don't know if I can do this because I don't want to get worms. Sick, yes. True, I wouldn't bet against it.
I used to keep a schedule of this phenomenon when I was in long term relationships. It takes about 6-8 months to really know for sure. I had an ex who refused to ever admit she was on the rag. One day I was cleaning up in the dining room, and found she hid a tampon in a box and threw it behind the radiator. Yes, I have dealt with many a loon boon, but that one was a doozy. Apparently, she didn't want to equate her idiotic behavior to being on the rag. So I just chalked it up to her being incredibly stupid.
My child's mom would throw things at me. Pots and pans and sharp objects. I am not the nicest guy in the world at times. I do take pride in being an asshole, I find it one of my endearing qualities. But, I just don't think that throwing at my head bode to well if you want anything to prosper. I am thankful to all of that mess, because now I can duck all types of shit, bees, flies, hell, even bullets at times. Being an asshole does have its disadvantages at times.
If I were elected into office, I would most definitely design a bill that women would be required by law to wear a color coded bracelet that will let the other sex know what the fuck is going on. Of course it would be green for "it's all good", yellow for "move cautiously", and red for "stop, turn around, holla at her in a week to ten days".
This week, and it is only Thursday where I have found myself defending some said by me that was so harmless, only to blow up to something that wasn't necessary, and wouldn't have happened if they were just wearing a color coded bracelet, and/or had a status message that read "on the rag, don't say stupid things". We do tend to say things that are normally funny 3 weeks out of the month. But that one week. It is the most vile, and insensitive shit that you have ever spew out of your mouth or fingers.
I write all this to say fellas, that we cant win. We are good for only a few things. And one of those things we think we are good at. Wait, I'm Great at it. End of rant. Ah thank you, and ah goodnight!
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