Classic ~ Tell These Fools

Old School At Noon ~ Or Something Close to Noon

Guy was them dudes back in the day. Hot shit!

Damn ~ Make it stop ~ But No, This is Hilarious!!

I swear I just cannot grt eough of this guy sometimes. Did they hang up on the poor man with hurt ass elbows? Sometimes, I would fall asleep while the television was on Black Embarrasment Television, and this guy would come on in the wee hours of the morning. Every damn time, I had a dream that teradactyles were chasing my ass through the hood. Come to find out, it was this fool screaming.

Sometimes You Cant Tell By Looking (whore story?)

Some time ago, I visited a friend at her office after the work day, to discuss future projects. There was a bit of wine flowing, sauvion blanc I think. The shit is nasty, I’d rather drink merlot. But anyways, after discussing some things, listening to some music online, and after the cleaning lady finished, we decided that it would be best to fuck each other. Everytime I go to see her at her office, we always come to decide that.

This day was a different day because three hours prior I was with another chick, in her apartment, and she basically tried to take advantage of me. First chick had nice hair, and moved my hand from her side, and up to her hair to grab and pull it, she likes that shit. Fair enough, while she is bent over her sofa, all she was saying was; “oh yeah, pull that shit.” Being the gentleman I am, I oblige. And not for nothing, fucking with either of them further adds proof that some women arent shit, because they are both married. But I guess they know good dick when they see it.

So, after that is done with, I go my ass to Newark penn station, read the daily news, while in the bar drinking a glass of merlot. I’m an aristocrat and shit ya know? So, I am reading this, and hope struck me. Now, I am fucked up for this, but I really set this day out for another chick from Queens, who I have told repeatedly we were going out. But since I am a nigga I had to weigh the facts. I could either take this chick from queens out to eat, have a friendly hug and kiss on the cheek goodnight, or go to another chick’s office, drink wine, and bang the fuck out.

Ya’ll do the math on that.

Long story short. So the nyc chick is petite, and a real freak. Her Brooklyn accent is ridiculous, and a turn on, plus she from Jamaica, so she throws in some patwa when getting smashed. While I’m hitting it, I kept thinking that I must be a fucked up dude, because I literally just fucked someone she is cool with. Niggas will think of anything to keep from nutting before its time. But when I thought of the previous chick, the whole grabbing of the hair came back to me. And her little ass is on top of the same table where the fax machine is, and I am just a banging. She pressed up against the fax, and I am sure she dialed Pakistan or some shit, the phone got knocked off the hook, good shit.

But, I fucked up. I grabbed her hair, and pulled it. SHUTDOWN!!!!

Shut down my niggas. Soon as I heard that “uhn un” it was a wrap. She didn’t have a wrap, it was a wrap. Then instantly I thought of when we were on the carpet, and while her feet were dangling in the air, she had one hand on my back, and one on the top of her head. I don’t pay attention to shit like that. We were close to the doorway, I thought she was trying to protect herself from a concussion. I mean, I fuck to win. But the whole “uhn uh” and I was like “this chick be talking to my sister or some shit?” and so it begins;

“Nigga, you trying to pull my wig clear the fuck off!”

“Nah, I didn’t even know it was a wig.”

“Niggas need to be up on shit like that, my hubby knows!”

“Then why isn’t he here fucking you right now?”

“Uhn uh”




The story is 100% true. But the main question is, should niggas know the difference?

Cuzzo

Dear Cousin,

I have thought about a lot this week. I don’t know why exactly this week in particular, I just did. For months since you passed I really didn’t come to terms with it. Sure, I put up a front that I was okay, but really I wasn’t. You passed 30 days after our grandma passed. It is almost like she was your heartbeat. And I guess that is rightly so. May times I scroll through my phone, and I see your name, and I just want to call you, and say what’s up. I ant to ask what you are doing, and if we could hang out or something. I am mad out myself for not spending as much time with you as I should have. Like a fool, I chose to hang out with the so called “cool” relatives. You were the cool one. You were the smart one. You didn’t care about the things we did. Your head was on right. And you brought a lot of good to many people. I remember when we was living in the same house, and all the bullshit we would do. On bunk beds, grown assed men. Like, remember I was on the top bunk, any I would wake up every damn morning it seemed, and hit my head? Your ass would crack up, and I would be pissed and dizzy. I remember we talked the pastor of the church into supplying us with a computer to build a website. LOL, remember when I came home drunk, and I thought the site had disappeared, only to find out I spelled Baptist. Babtist? Man, we go back some time. Remember when I found a bag of dimes in the basement, and I got yelled at because I didn’t want to split the money with yall? I would do almost anything to hear your laugh right now man. We had so many deaths in our family in 2007, but none affected me like yours did. I miss you like crazy. Its like I cant imagine going to a cook out, or a family gathering without seeing you. Dude, you and I bought the same car, from the same dealer, and the same salesman. We would be in church making each other crack up. It was fun teasing you when you sang in the choir. I know your ass was just moving your lips, you would tell me otherwise though. I remember when I would go to your school, and chill with you and your students back in the day. Man, I don’t even know how I made it out alive. I taught them dudes how to drink. When you graduated, I was so fucking proud. I was so anxious to go to the ceremony. I was mad that most o the family wasn’t there. I think Danish was standing up on a chair trying to get a picture. Auntie was so proud, I was so proud. I never got you though. You were so different from us. If I had to compare you to anyone it would be Dre. Ya’ll dudes are cool as a fan. Nothing seems to faze you. I wish I was more like you. I didn’t realize it until after you left us. I miss you man. These days I don’t know what to do. I want to call for advice. I just want to kick it with you. I want to go bowling or something. Anything! Today, I saw this car that looked like yours, and damned if I didn’t stand in the middle of the street just staring. This family is lost now cousin. It has been months, but we are still shocked. I have so much I want to say to you. It all boils down too, that I love you and we miss you.

Good Websites to Use

Bwhahahahahahahhahaha. Man, people never cease to amaze me. Motherfuckers are just that predictable. My inside jokes on this blog are funny, to me anyways. However, I have a surefire way that people can view sites "anonymously"

www.foxyproxy.com - good shit, but it still doesnt hide anything, but feel free to use it. it wont hide much, but if you are at work, you can go to myspace with it, I think.

http://www.the-cloak.com/anonymous-surfing-home.html - this doesnt hide much either when it comes to this site. lmao. tis site needs some smileys

www.hidemyipaddress.com - this is amazing, but i think it was shut down or something. i have no need to use either of them, since i work from home.

I have another whore story in the works. Its taking forever, with all these other projects jumoing off now. My costumes are close to being finished, and production, hopefully starts soon. Hell, maybe I will dramatize the whore story.

But, use those sites, and surf anonymously, I mean sheesh. why the fuck not?

dedicated to capitalized!

Late Night Mood Music

I forgot all about this song. I am looking for the pictures from when we performed this in a talent show in HS. LMAOOOOOOO

Damn, I remember it like yesterday now. We were supposed to wear all black. Why in the hell did this one dude have a black shirt with a tiger on the back? My boy like to strangle the dude.

"How you going to pull this shit RIGHT BEFORE WE GO ON?"

"Aye yo, is the tiger's eyes rhinestones?"

The performance I dont recall, but I just remember how mad my boy Jay was at the dude. I think his name was something weird, like Shey or some shit. J was the one that got everyone to do it, and he did not want Shey to be a part of it, but there were limits to the number of times people could perform. I mean this kid couldnt even get the moves right. He was fucking up, and J looked like he was going to hit his as over the head with the mic. All those high school moments must have ben repressed, but now I am cracking the hell up.

For the Three years I was at that school, I was in damn near every Talent show, play, what have you. Now that I think of it, they werent contests. I have to get my hands on the videotapes of them, if they exist still. Although, I dont know how I would feel to see just what the hell was going on with my hair. I am sure I was rocking a gumby at one point.

Good Times
Enjoy
dedicted to m.a.t.

Bonus dedication;