Equal Rights and Midget Fights

Well, it is no secret that I used to install cable television. There are too many stories that goes along with the job. I could go on for days about how my boss what the biggest asshole I have ever worked for. When I say hater, this dude was. He was some fake Mafioso, or something. I knew he was an asshole the day I went in to take the piss test. The fact is, why the hell was he the one doing the piss test anyways? Power tripping bastard. Go ahead, touch my urine asshole. He made a sly assed remark about my piss being neon green. He asked if I was a martian or some shit, because of the color. Idiot, I’m not a martian, I drank some quick flush, to hide the weed. That’s what I wanted to say. Damn, all these Jamaicans working there, and you have never sen quick flush urine? You bastard assed bastard.

The guy had the nerve to be a racist, with all of us working there. He would look out for this one white kid named Brian, like they were related or some shit. My cousin, Brian, and me worked the same city. I stayed having to stop my cousin from beating the holy shit out of Brian. I personally didn’t have an issue with him myself. Sometimes when I didn’t feel like doing a job, I would call him and pass it off for him to do it. The great thing about that is that, even though he did it, I got the paperwork back, and still got paid for the job. Pretty fucked up, but we looked out for dude, I mean, looked him the fuck out.

You see, Brian, was constantly drunk. Now I know I have had my battles with the bottle, but not like this dude. Every morning, when he came to the office, he looked like the truck dove its self to the office, and he was being dragged behind holding on to a cable wire, while drinking a beer, and peeing on himself. Now, I am pretty sure, he was doing more than drinking. He had a crystal meth quality about him. With a cocaine history, or something. He was still a cool dude when he needed to be. I just couldn’t understand why, with all his fuck ups, the asshole bastard ass boss asshole, would look out for him like he did. I kept forgetting that my skin tone was a tad bit darker. Damn, it was fucking 2003, I thought things done changed.

Hells nah the shit aint change. See, things were fucked up. And from a couple of things that happened, I can tell that, like I always have been able too, that if you white, you right. It’s science, and I don’t go against science.

One night, Brian was royally fucked up. Drunk and high as hell, no doubt. So, he was driving this big assed work truck, flying through the streets of Elizabeth. It was late as fuck, and he didn’t even live in the area. There was only a few reasons he would even be in that type of area, that time of night. To cop some things. He must have went to my fam, because I sure wasn’t around.

As the story goes, he got his dukes of hazard on with the truck. Was hauling ass up north avenue, when the roads were icy as hell, slid up on the sidewalk, ran over a street sign pole, the truck spins on icy grass, and hits the building, a building with very well to do people at that. Classic move on his part. But no, it doesn’t stop there. The dude, jumps out the truck, and runs away. Not only does he run away, there are people out there who sees him. Now, these people see him everyday. The fool snatches his tool belt, wraps it around his waist, and drunk runs up the street. Not only, do people see him, but the people that see him describe him to the cops. The fool still had his grey short sleeved uniform shirt on. At 11:30pm, drunk running, away from the scene of an accident, with a tool belt that makes a lot of noise when you walk, but sounds like Christmas if you are running, drunk running away.

Now, you would think this guy gets fired right? Hells nah, the asshole bitch assed fake mafia boss makes a decision. Instead of the dude getting fired, or even suspended. He comes up with a fucking plan. This wasn’t dude’s first time driving drunk, and the reason why he ran, is because his license would have been revoked for a while, because of what happened this time. The fucking boss decides to send Brian to California, to get a new license, before the one in Jersey was revoked. Can you believe this shit? Can you believe this shit? They send his ass all the way to cali fucking fornia, to get a license, to beat the system. I couldn’t believe this shit. Normally I wouldn’t care, but here’s where I come in at.

That same week, I had an incident at a customer’s house. They weren’t regular customers. It was a group home for adults with special needs. It took me so long to write this, because a lot of people told me that to call them retarded is just politically incorrect. And that I find to be bullshit, because I am not running for office or anything. Fuckers. So I go to this house, and right away, I knew what the deal was. These folks, are nice folks, they just have developmental problems is all. Most of them are good by nature. However, the counselor must have forgot to give these summabitches their meds, because they were off the fucking meat rack that afternoon.

I mean, I am already upset, because I know there was no way I was going to get a tip, at this house. And I was arguing with my girl at the time. So I was pissed anyways. The job was somewhat of a big job, not too big, just a lot of televisions. I think there was maybe ten of them all together, and all I had to do is change a few wires, and swap out boxes. Sweet!!! But oh boy, these people were determined to not let me work in peace. I should have known something was up when the counselor smiled when she said, she would “get out of my way.” Yeah bitch was setting me up.

As soon as I start, they start with the questions. Now, I try to show extreme patience at all times, and this was surely a test. One dude, was so happy, that he started doing jumping jacks, while yelling out loud as fuck “CABLE CABLE CABLE CABLE, WE GONNA GET SOME CABLE CABLE CABLE CABLE.” This guy was every bit of 50 years old. As if the jumping jacks weren’t enough, he busts out with the running man, with the pause, dropped it down like it was hot, got back by pulling his own collar, in an old school move, spinned, and bust out with the wop, all while not letting the drool that was already formed on his lips to drop to the floor, then back to his jumping jacks, and his mantra of the cable song. I don’t know if I was supposed to feel sorry for him.

I just sat on the floor in amazement. My mouth would have been wide open, but he spit when he talked, and I didn’t want a retarded dna to be transferred to me in some old mystery of science shit. No sir.

So, after his performance, I walk around the house switching boxes, and changing wires, and this dude is like my shadow or something. Not only is he like right on my ass, he didn’t walk regular, he did the fucking running man! This is how he walks! He running mans his ass through life. There was no one step, next step. Not at all. His walk WAS the running man. I thought I was on candid camera. I have been to these homes before, but nothing like this. Uh uh. The whole time, he is asking me questions;

“do you watch cable at home?”
“are you going to get some ice cream?”
“does you but itch at night?”
“mine does”
“will I see titties on the new cable?”
“I like tits”
“Are you married?’
“can I help you with the new cable?’

I answered all of the questions with polite sarcasm. He was satisfied I suppose. The counselor finally got him away from me, took her long enough, I’m glad she was amused by this sick joke of hers.

Oh, the shit doesn’t stop there. The shit did not stop there. I was working on a t.v. set, by the front window, and lo and behold, what do I see? A short yellow bus. The rest of the brigade had come. Reinforcements had arrived, it was a small army of special needs people. I say about 8 of them jumped their jolly asses off the short yellow bus, and ran towards the house as if they all had to take a collective piss. I figured it was time for me to hurry the hell up, and get the fuck out of dodge. I did not want to witness 10 retards doing the running man in unison. At that time, I believed in hell, and I am sure if I stayed any longer than I had to, I would have drove straight to it.

Now, I am kneeling down, reaching behind the t.v., trying to finagle the wires. But I felt very weird about something. A nervousness overwhelmed me, and I did not know what it was. I didn’t want to look behind me. There was someone behind me. I felt their hot breath on my neck. The hairs on my neck stood up. And whatever it was that was behind me, started to growl. I mean growl, like DMX growls. You know, GRRRRRRRRRR. Holy shit, I’m like there is a dog in the special needs house. At least that’s what I thought. So I turn around to pet the dog or something,

OH SHIT!!!! I turn around, and I am eye to eye with a growling, drooling midget with a club foot, and glasses thick enough to see an ant piss on the planet Pluto. I jumped the fuck up, I was scared as shit. I was never too fond of midgets, I’m not a midget hater or anything, but they scare the shit out of me in person. And it was clear to me, that he was their leader. Most of them was standing by the door, just looking, waiting for their midget leader to do one his midget kung fu moves, leaving me debilitated so that he can keep his reign going in that house. It was some scary shit man. I’m nervous now just thinking about it. I think that a gang of midgets will come to my door right now, and do them special midget moves that would leave me bedazzled or something.

Now I have maybe 3 more televisions to do. I know that two of them, I had to do extra shit with, I wanted to get them over quickly. I called my cousin, to se if he could help me. I told him where I was at, he knew exactly where I was at. He installed the initial sets some time ago. So I ask;

“Yo, I only have like 3 sets to do, come help me with like two of them”
“That’s the spot with them retards yo?”
“Yeah man, there’s a midget here too.”
“Uh, nah son, I’m good, um, I got a job across town”
“Nigga, you just said you finished for the day?”
“My bad Flav, I don’t fuck round with midgets yo, they know kung fu”
“Has, ayo Has….HAS!!!!!!”

That dude cut his Nextel off. Now, aint that a bitch. So I go back in the house with the extra boxes. And this midget is on me. He didn’t even speak, he just drooled and growled. GRRRRRRRRRR. I think it was about to go down. The others had left, I am guessing he didn’t want any witnesses. I don’t know how he communicated to them, unless he had a series of growls that meant shit. I don’t know. Anything is possible. Or perhaps he had midgetelepathy. For the next 3 sets, the dude is right there, when I stood up, he backed away and stood in the corner, but when I kneeled down to mess around with some wires, he was right up on me.

I was getting annoyed with the inch high wandering eye guy. I kept asking him politely to back up off me. I asked a few times. He still wouldn’t. I thought that maybe if I thought what I was asking while growling, he may understand me;

Me: o0(dude, back up) Grrrrr Grrrrrrr
Him: Grrrrrrrrrr

What the fuck does that mean?!!! Nigga, I growled your ass a request, and you still up on me. This shit had to stop. I am not proud of this at all. But there was no witnesses. I put my hammer in my belt hook, and asked one mo gain, for dude to back up. He didn’t, so I gauged the handle of the hammer, and saw what I could do. I stood up quick as shit, and the handle of the hammer popped him right on the chin, BOOOP, that’s the noise it made. He looked at me in amazement. Said Grrrrrrrr, and walked away. He didn’t fuck with me while I was on the next set. Lesson taught, lesson learned.

Come to find out, one of the others saw the shit, and told the counselor when I left. So a couple days later the asshole boss faggot asshole bitch made boss brings me into his office. He asks me why did I assault a customer. I’m like what the fuck? I’m like what customer? He goes through the paperwork, and reads off the address. I’m like “man, the special needs home? They was all crowding me, I just had to get through the crowd to continue the job. I think the midget got hit by my hammer though.”

“You hit a midget?

“No, the midget was in the way of the butt of my hammer, he got bopped in the fray”

“YOU CANT GO AROUND HITTING MIDGETS ON THE HEAD WITH YOUR HAMMER!!!!” YOU ARE GOING TO BE WORKING IN NEWARK THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS”

“There are midgets in Newark too, ya know? Gangsta midgets”

“THREE WEEKS!!!!”

Now, that was some bullshit. Brian totaled a fucking truck, was drunk as hell, left the scene of an accident, but was rewarded by getting sent to California in the dead of winter in new jersey, to get a new license. And what the fuck do I get? Sent to the only place where cable installers don’t get paid that good money. Aint life fucked up?

Too Funny....

Yep It's official....

I am officially tired of ciggs and beer. Always knew it was just a dirty little phase. Afer a fun and long trip to the e.r., I decided that I would get some vitamins, and the anti-oxidents and all that shit I used to be about as a teen. Can a new addiction be something else? Maybe like coochie?

Signifyin'

Signifyin' Monkey

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Wait A Hell Damned Minute!!

The Hinnom Valley is a deep, narrow ravine located in Jerusalem, running south from the Jaffa Gate on the west side of the Old City (see also Physical and Spiritual Gates), then eastward along the south side of Mount Zion (seen in the top of the photograph with the Hinnom Valley below it - see also The Zion Bridge and Who, What or Where Is Zion?) until it meets the Kidron Valley which separates the Temple Mount from the Mount of Olives on the east side of the city. It is named from a certain "son of Hinnom" who apparently owned or had some significant association with the valley at a time prior to Joshua 15:8.
The Burning "Hell"

The Valley of Hinnom had a very horrendous history in ancient times. It was used as a place where the pagan worshipers did all sorts of vile and wicked things - including burning children alive as sacrifices to the idols Moloch and Baal. One section of the valley was called Tophet, or the "fire-stove," where the children were slaughtered (2 Kings 23:10). It was a place of tremendous evil for many years.

After their return from the Babylonian exile (see Why Babylon?), the Jews turned the Hinnom Valley into the city dump where garbage and anything deemed unclean (including the bodies of executed criminals) was incinerated. For that purpose, a fire was kept constantly burning there. Even though it was no longer used for evil worship, with all the filth and thick smoke it remained a very dark and dreary place.

The Hebrew name Hinnom when translated into Greek is gehenna, from which the translated word and concept of a burning "hell" originated (there is also another "hell" - see The Cool "Hell"). By the time of Jesus Christ, the deep, constantly-burning Valley of Hinnom was also known as the Valley of Gehenna, or Hell, and had taken on a popular image as the place "down there" where the wicked would eventually be cast into the flames for destruction.

Fact Finder: Did Jesus Christ also refer to the fire of Gehenna?
Matthew 10:28
Note: Jesus used the original word Gehenna, which is translated hell, in the above Scripture, but He obviously wasn't referring to the fires of the Valley of Hinnom. He was talking about the future lake of fire that will be used to destroy the enemies of God (Revelation 19:20, 20:13-15).

So, with all the wiked that go to hell these days. How does the Jerusalem government have the money to pay for the clean up? That shit must be tiring, hell is like like mcdonalds ya know? Over one billion served.

Origin of the Christian Hell [1]

Jesus Mysteries

[Of hell] "The more enlightened sages of the Mysteries viewed such horrors as merely stories to encourage better moral behavior. Plutarch calls the terrors of the Underworld an 'improving myth'. The Christian philosopher Origen likewise argued that the literal terrors of hell were false, but they ought to be publicized in order to scare simpler believers"
[...]
"Origen, however, was posthumously condemned by the Roman Catholic Church as a heretic for his compassionate belief that all souls would eventually be redeemed. The Roman Church required all Christians to believe that some souls would suffer in hell forever, while the faithful would enjoy eternal salvation. This is the one doctrine on the afterlife which Celsus regards as distinctively Christian. He writes:
'Now it will be wondered how men so desperate in their beliefs can persuade others to join their ranks. The Christians use sundry methods of persuasion, and invent a number of terrifying incentives. Above all, they have concocted an absolutely offensive doctrine of everlasting punishment and rewards, exceeding anything the philosophers (who have never denied the punishment of the unrighteous of the reward of the blessed) could have imagined' "

Jesus Mysteries [buy] | Info/Quotes, p90

"In the King James Version of the Bible, the Hebrew word sheol and Greek word hades (two very different concepts) are both generally translated as Hell."

www.religioustolerance.org

Plutarch (46-125CE) and the early Christians viewed hell as a symbolic place. It was only over time that Christianity became the literalistic belief system that it is now, initially all of its teachings were either Roman Mystery religion or Jewish in origin. The Valley of Hinnom (see above) was a place where sinners were actually burnt, the hell that the pagan religions believed in was a symbolic place (where those who died went) used to persuade people to behave better, and the Jews had little actual teachings on the concept of Hell. The result was that Christianity, a religion that was popular amongst the illiterate and undereducated in the Roman empire, lost its inner symbolic nature and became seen as an actual real place where sinners were punished forever, after death.

Yet, and still, people believe in this magical burning place. I would rather scrutinize the cornerstone of all that is deemed as moral. And here we have absolute bullshit staring at us in the face.

Important New Law Passed Today...

I Said Pu$$y Not Piss Damnit!

The single days were just great. A lot of hood rats rolled through. Not all hood rats, but I had quite my share in the day. One of them stands out for some reason. I met this chick at the subway station. I don’t know if I was on my way to work, or not. But I was always going somewhere those days. She is pretty much on the other side waiting to go the other way. She yells over, and asks for a cigarette. Being the gentleman that I am, I tell her to come and get it. She obliges, wasn’t hard to tell that the deal was sealed. So we are sitting there talking, and I’m sizing her up. She had some pretty eyes, and long hair. She said everything on her was hers. That ass and them tits were real, that’s for damn sure. I couldn’t wait to tap that ass.

I don’t know how long we talked on the phone before her visit. I don’t even remember her name to be honest. I am bad with names anyway. At this time, I stayed shit faced. My drink at the time was old grand dad, 100 proof. When you have a toothache, some older black person would tell your ass to get some whiskey. I should have known not to follow my grandfather’s advice then. But, what the hell, right?

Well, anyways, the chick was due to come over. When she arrived, I knew it was chickenhead time. She immediately looks at the liquor and is like;

“Ooooh, what’s this daddy, can I take a swig of this?”

I grumbled out a yeah. But I wasn’t too thrilled that I had to share with her. It is always bring your own bag day at my house. While I was in the kitchen getting her a cup, she was guzzling this 100 proof liquor like it was miracle spring water. This shit was a pint of some hard shit, that usually at that time, took me at least, 4 days to even finish. This wasn’t going to end well. It was the principle of it all. She then sees in the ashtray, that there is a freshly rolled joint. Now this was some goods, and if I smoked alone, I was rolling it in some e-z wider.

“Ooooh, is that some herb? Yo what’s up, lets light that shit up!”


What the fuck did I get myself into? I am trying to be the polite host and shit, but this was already getting ridiculous. So, I light the shit up, and I swear I think I only took three pulls. I pass the shit to her, and she showed no mercy to this shit. I didn’t know if I was looking at a long hair, pretty eyed beauty, or a eureka vacuum cleaner. She passes it back to me. And I am looking it, like she was going to give me some tweezers to even make an attempt to smoke. I am sure that I was upset at the time. This was just crazy.

Well, she made herself comfortable, started to disrobe and all. Whatever animosity I had, was gone then. It was that time. So we getting into it, and damn, I never heard any chick that loud up until that point. That does a lot for your ego. I don’t even care if it was faked, shit, let the neighbors hear. I was trying to bang ole girl downstairs for a minute. What better way to entice her. So, we are going at it, and she goes bonkers, just convulsing, it was like a seizure. I am thinking oh no, I think I killed the bitch. Lucky for me, that wasn’t the case. However, she peed on me. This fool peed on me, so I’m like;
“Yo, what the hell? You peed on me, what type of shit is you on?”

She says to me;

“Nah baby, when the dick is that good, I can’t control it, I squirt when the dick is good like that, c’mon, c’mon.”

“Nah yo, you peed on me, the bed, what the fuck?!”

Now, I am fucking skeptic. I never seen that shit before then. So, you know I am sitting there sniffing the shit, I am trying to find out if this was urine. I mean come on, she had drank my liquor up, debo’d the weed. And now, the final insult is to piss on me. I had watched many a porno, and I never saw that shit. This was before people were even on the internet twenty four seven. It didn’t smell like piss, thank goodness, but I still had my doubts. I was 5 minutes from calling up an older cousin to find out if they knew anything about this phenomenon, but they would tell me that I was pissed on, just to fuck with my head. And on the strength of that, her cab would have been called. Ah, being young and dumb.

So, after the sniff tests, and the fact that the cooch was pretty much banging, we continue. So, ole girl is flipped over, and it’s the big bang. Shit starts getting louder, and louder. I really wish camera phones were out then. So, it is on. The fact that she was just loving this was good enough for me. I am making fuck faces like I was in a porno. I am having a good time back there to say the least. But, something happened. The bun she had rolled up in her hair, um, it popped off, and fell behind the bed. So while I am back there, doing my best Ron Jeremy impersonations, her real hair, decided to jump off the back of her head, and run under the bed. I mean, what could she say? The fact that I had a deep belly laugh, didn’t help matters any.

That threw me off a few strokes. And we weren’t playing golf. But, I did get a hole in one.