I haven't listened to the radio in such a long time. I mean there are some moments when I am riding around or something, and there are a few songs that I can listen too, but after a few times, I am pretty much done with them.
Todays rap music sucks ass!!! Not all, but a majority does. I mean who wrote the rule that cooning and and blatant ignorance is worthy of record sales? The shit I hear nowadays is just straight fucking garbage. Not even worthy of me pissing on, let alone taking a shit upon.
Now I would be the first to say that I was never a big fan of southern rappers, particularly cash money dudes. When I first heard them some years ago, I fucking fell out. What the fuck was they talking about? Wobble wobble nigga? WTF is that? The dude BG made them somewhat presentable, but lawd have mercy, them other niggas was rapping like they didn't hear music. Shut the fuck up clowns.
Now they got this toad looking nigger with fakest swagger I've ever seen. Why the hell is this guy crying like a bitch on songs? Why does he look like the spawn of dog shit that was fucked by Shabba Ranks. Why can't he step foot in Philly? LawdHaMercy is motherfucking right.
I wrote about the ugly chick that eventually started to look attractive. That's how this rap shit is to me. If you hear the shit on the radio over and over and over, you eventually think the crap you hear is good. You eventually get to the point where you are bobbing your head to it, and have to immediately have to stab yourself in the balls to punish yourself for the mistreatment of your intelligence.
Like if I am surfing pages on myspace and blackplanet, or where ever and someone has one of these bumpkin niggers on the page. Immediately click on the nearest "Report Abuse" button. So if your page suddenly got deleted, send me a thank you comment.
Maybe I am bothered, because the older I get, the more conservative I become. Perhaps I grew up at a time where hip hop contained lyrics that meant something, or was a legitimate party song without making shit rain. Like remember when LL's "I need love" was out? You. Throw that shit on at a party, you would have almost guarunteed dry humping, and some slippage of the tongue.
What the hell is the new I need love? Buss it baby? WTF? How about bust that coon in the head with some bullets. See, now I am being corrupted by the shit.
The more and more I hear this new shit, the more I worry about the future of this country. I worry about just what type of crap my kids will sneak and listen to when I'm not there. Shit, I knew I would go to my cousin's house and tape all the wild shit they had. I would sit, listen to NWA with my mouth agape. And sadly, the shit these days is even worse.
I'm on a trip right now listening to the radio, and this just had to come out. I sincerely hope the new President outlaws ignorance in rap. Fuck it, I'll even support gay marriage, but put a Proposition 8 on ignorant cooning ass rotten teeth rap niggers.
Fin...
From The BlackBerry
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Hey Cutesy Ugsly...
Have you ever seen anyone that is so ugly that if you look at them long enough they actually become cute? I think I am just a tad bit off center mentally.
I used to work with a chick that the guys around the office affectionatley called "Mud Duck." I guess it wasn't too affectionate, because I'm sure she didn't know that was her knickname. I spelled it Knick, because honestly, the bitch looked like Patrick Ewing. She wasn't his height or anything, but just imagine Pat was hit with a mallet, shrunk down to about 5'5".
This chick probably had the best body in the entire office, but damn, this face was an injustice to her tits and ass. You almost wanted to replace her face with her ass, because you wouldn't have any qualms with kissing it. I bullshit you not.
I remember while on one of my two hour lunches I journied over to her desk. Of course I was drunk, but not yet shit faced. I mean I still had like 5 hours left on my shift. So, I go over to Mud duck's desk ad start chatting. So of course the subjects of titties comes up. Don't ask me why, it just always comes up in conversations with me. So I'm like;
"Yo, I seen your pics on your myspace page, real nice pics, I swear I saw a nipple though."
"You saw a little bit, haha."
"Well, let me see the whole thing right now then."
"I'm on a call crazy, haha."
"They on the phone, they can't see your tits."
"True."
She plops out her tits. I don't know if it was plopped or flopped. But they came out. Instant hard on. It don't take my ass long to stand at attention. But while the blood was rushing from my upper head to the lower one, she became cute to me for some reason. As she sat talking to her client, I squinted and was like; "she isn't half bad."
Not bad at all. She kind of looked like a lion. Yeah, she had a lion face. Grrrrrrrr Niggas Grrrrrrr. At that point I realized that once a mudduck chick gets your dick a little hard, she isn't all that ugly anymore. The universe is a wonderful happening that way.
So I stumble back to my desk to get my cigs, so I could go outside to drink and smoke with my peeps. I go outside and I am immediately asked what I was doing by her desk. I didn't tell them of course, I be respecting bitches yo. Yup.
Anyway, I come to find out that the topic of conversation was her. One of the fellas had words with her over something, and being drunk at work equals yelling in the parking lot. Oh yeah, I was never the only one drunk at work, it was a group effort. So, they are berating this lady something terrible. I'm just sitting back kind of disappointed in the rhetoric because after all, not too long before that I was ready to fuck her at her desk. Niggas are talking about how ugly she is. I pretty much thought this was high schoolish and came to her defense;
"Ya'll leave her alone man, she is cool, she's a sweet person."
"Nigga please that bitch has a fucked up attitude, I can't stand that ugly bitch yo."
After seeing her tits up close I explained further;
"Yeah, I lnow her attitude is fucked sometimes but she is, she is cute in her own little ugly way."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!
Okay, was I wrong? I mean she was cute in an ugly way. I think there is a point where you are so ugly that it crosses the threshold and all of a sudden you are a dime. I don't know, its just my opinion. Now, if she was cockeyed, I don't knowif I could LOOK PAST THAT. I think that shit is contagious.
I will tell ya'll how her ugly cuteness was deaded for me though. One day my boy comes to be and says to me;
"Yo Rev, you feel like being grossed out? Aye, go look at mudduck's ears."
"Why?"
"Haha, just go look playa."
"Aight, fuck it, its time for my break anyway."
I had just got to work 20 minutes before this break. In the constitution it says that Black folks are 3/5 of a person, so I do about that amount at my job. Sue me.
But I go over and strike up a meaningless conversation. At the end of the convo, I give her a little hug so I could look in her ear. I was expecting an earpeice or something. Hellllllssss Nah. What I found was a shitload of crust in her ear. This wasn't like a flake of wax. Nah, this was enough to make into a record.(For you young fuckers, a record is what we played before cd's, young ass bastards) but yes.
I immediately lost the feelings in my legs. I felt faint. Now I know I can be a tad bit nasty, sloppy or what have you, but this shit was just too much.
I don't think I spoke more than 5 words to her a day after that mess. One day, she came to my desk and asked why I was "acting" funny. And the only thing I could come up with was;
"You are just too ugly for me to want you to suck my dick."
"What? Fuck you!"
Another friend lost to my brutal honesty. I could have went to her desk and apologized. But seriously, how would it even get through to her? I mean, that was a lot of crust!
Fin
I used to work with a chick that the guys around the office affectionatley called "Mud Duck." I guess it wasn't too affectionate, because I'm sure she didn't know that was her knickname. I spelled it Knick, because honestly, the bitch looked like Patrick Ewing. She wasn't his height or anything, but just imagine Pat was hit with a mallet, shrunk down to about 5'5".
This chick probably had the best body in the entire office, but damn, this face was an injustice to her tits and ass. You almost wanted to replace her face with her ass, because you wouldn't have any qualms with kissing it. I bullshit you not.
I remember while on one of my two hour lunches I journied over to her desk. Of course I was drunk, but not yet shit faced. I mean I still had like 5 hours left on my shift. So, I go over to Mud duck's desk ad start chatting. So of course the subjects of titties comes up. Don't ask me why, it just always comes up in conversations with me. So I'm like;
"Yo, I seen your pics on your myspace page, real nice pics, I swear I saw a nipple though."
"You saw a little bit, haha."
"Well, let me see the whole thing right now then."
"I'm on a call crazy, haha."
"They on the phone, they can't see your tits."
"True."
She plops out her tits. I don't know if it was plopped or flopped. But they came out. Instant hard on. It don't take my ass long to stand at attention. But while the blood was rushing from my upper head to the lower one, she became cute to me for some reason. As she sat talking to her client, I squinted and was like; "she isn't half bad."
Not bad at all. She kind of looked like a lion. Yeah, she had a lion face. Grrrrrrrr Niggas Grrrrrrr. At that point I realized that once a mudduck chick gets your dick a little hard, she isn't all that ugly anymore. The universe is a wonderful happening that way.
So I stumble back to my desk to get my cigs, so I could go outside to drink and smoke with my peeps. I go outside and I am immediately asked what I was doing by her desk. I didn't tell them of course, I be respecting bitches yo. Yup.
Anyway, I come to find out that the topic of conversation was her. One of the fellas had words with her over something, and being drunk at work equals yelling in the parking lot. Oh yeah, I was never the only one drunk at work, it was a group effort. So, they are berating this lady something terrible. I'm just sitting back kind of disappointed in the rhetoric because after all, not too long before that I was ready to fuck her at her desk. Niggas are talking about how ugly she is. I pretty much thought this was high schoolish and came to her defense;
"Ya'll leave her alone man, she is cool, she's a sweet person."
"Nigga please that bitch has a fucked up attitude, I can't stand that ugly bitch yo."
After seeing her tits up close I explained further;
"Yeah, I lnow her attitude is fucked sometimes but she is, she is cute in her own little ugly way."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!
Okay, was I wrong? I mean she was cute in an ugly way. I think there is a point where you are so ugly that it crosses the threshold and all of a sudden you are a dime. I don't know, its just my opinion. Now, if she was cockeyed, I don't knowif I could LOOK PAST THAT. I think that shit is contagious.
I will tell ya'll how her ugly cuteness was deaded for me though. One day my boy comes to be and says to me;
"Yo Rev, you feel like being grossed out? Aye, go look at mudduck's ears."
"Why?"
"Haha, just go look playa."
"Aight, fuck it, its time for my break anyway."
I had just got to work 20 minutes before this break. In the constitution it says that Black folks are 3/5 of a person, so I do about that amount at my job. Sue me.
But I go over and strike up a meaningless conversation. At the end of the convo, I give her a little hug so I could look in her ear. I was expecting an earpeice or something. Hellllllssss Nah. What I found was a shitload of crust in her ear. This wasn't like a flake of wax. Nah, this was enough to make into a record.(For you young fuckers, a record is what we played before cd's, young ass bastards) but yes.
I immediately lost the feelings in my legs. I felt faint. Now I know I can be a tad bit nasty, sloppy or what have you, but this shit was just too much.
I don't think I spoke more than 5 words to her a day after that mess. One day, she came to my desk and asked why I was "acting" funny. And the only thing I could come up with was;
"You are just too ugly for me to want you to suck my dick."
"What? Fuck you!"
Another friend lost to my brutal honesty. I could have went to her desk and apologized. But seriously, how would it even get through to her? I mean, that was a lot of crust!
Fin
New Old Friends
I find myself reaching out to old friends that I haven't seen or heard from in years. I kind of want to surround myself with people that remind me of a time when life was still an experiment, when there were no bills and the closest thing to breaking the innocence of your young life was finger banging a chick during a school play.
I was driving around my old hood that I lived in during 7th and 8th grade. I remembered one of my best friends from that era. When I got home I looked the dude up, called the number, got his parents, and his pops gave me the cell number. We kicked it for a minute and reminicsed for a little bit. We both went in the service after high school. I remember thinking damn, I should have went to the force my damn self. But he was kicked out like I was. LOL, shit happens. I was glad he is doing good and hopefully we'll go out for drinks or some shit. Hell we're grown now. The thing that bugged me out was that he is still cool with his girl from back then, and you know what? Why did they call me on the three way? LOL, that's all we ever did back in the day. A ton of folks on the three way talking about nintendo, big daddy kane, and teachers we hated. It was good to go back there for a while. Just to remember when life was carefree. Yall remember emergency breakthru's on the phone? BWHAHAHAHAHAHA. Shit, your game would be seriously thwarted if the operator came on like;
"Boooooooooooooooop, Emergency breaktrough from Toya, will you take the call?"
Now I have to use Toya as an example. She was my girl back then, and was the QUEEN of emergency breakthru'n. And my ass would be on the horn with the next chick, running out of excuses as to just who the hell this Toya person is.
"Uh, my cousin from downstairs."
"She can't come up and knock on the door?"
"Her leg is broke."
"Uh huh."
"I'll call you back."
"Uh huh, okay."
A couple days later, and as normal, Toya and I had broken up over something dumb. But it never fails for her to call to yell at me.
"Boooooooooooooooop, Emergency breaktrough from Toya, will you take the call?"
"Ugh, I hate this chick!"
"Your cousin?"
"Nah, she my ex, she on my jock."
"Uh, you said that was your cousin."
"Huh? Errr ummmm. What I meant was tha..."
"Click"
"I guess I'm taking the call operator."
Ahhhh, the good ole days...
I was driving around my old hood that I lived in during 7th and 8th grade. I remembered one of my best friends from that era. When I got home I looked the dude up, called the number, got his parents, and his pops gave me the cell number. We kicked it for a minute and reminicsed for a little bit. We both went in the service after high school. I remember thinking damn, I should have went to the force my damn self. But he was kicked out like I was. LOL, shit happens. I was glad he is doing good and hopefully we'll go out for drinks or some shit. Hell we're grown now. The thing that bugged me out was that he is still cool with his girl from back then, and you know what? Why did they call me on the three way? LOL, that's all we ever did back in the day. A ton of folks on the three way talking about nintendo, big daddy kane, and teachers we hated. It was good to go back there for a while. Just to remember when life was carefree. Yall remember emergency breakthru's on the phone? BWHAHAHAHAHAHA. Shit, your game would be seriously thwarted if the operator came on like;
"Boooooooooooooooop, Emergency breaktrough from Toya, will you take the call?"
Now I have to use Toya as an example. She was my girl back then, and was the QUEEN of emergency breakthru'n. And my ass would be on the horn with the next chick, running out of excuses as to just who the hell this Toya person is.
"Uh, my cousin from downstairs."
"She can't come up and knock on the door?"
"Her leg is broke."
"Uh huh."
"I'll call you back."
"Uh huh, okay."
A couple days later, and as normal, Toya and I had broken up over something dumb. But it never fails for her to call to yell at me.
"Boooooooooooooooop, Emergency breaktrough from Toya, will you take the call?"
"Ugh, I hate this chick!"
"Your cousin?"
"Nah, she my ex, she on my jock."
"Uh, you said that was your cousin."
"Huh? Errr ummmm. What I meant was tha..."
"Click"
"I guess I'm taking the call operator."
Ahhhh, the good ole days...
Let Me ReIntroduce Myself...Mah Name is Flaavvv Flaavvvvv
Well, I haven't posted on this blog in many a moon. There are tons of reasons, but I guess the main one would have been because of this exhausting election season. For some reason I felt as though that I was running for some sort of office or something. There have been elections in the past where I felt passionate about what was going on, and wanted an immediate change. This one was different for some reason. But, I can't quite put my black assed finger on it. Hmmm
Another reason is my personal life which I won't get into detail about. If you have read anything I have wrote before, I'm willing to bet you fools think I went ape shit on some chick or something like that. Blah, I haven't the time for anger. Well, I do, but nothing to write about. Amazingly, I am not whoring around these days. I don't even have the urge to. I don't think I do. Check back with me in a year on that.
Holy shit, I finally paid all the tickets off and went and got my license back. A whopping $4500 to many a city, to many a court, to many a dmv(well, one anyways). The sad part is that I could have handled the shit eons ago, but I take much pride in my good intentions and zero follow through. It started getting cumbersome driving around with no L. It sucks when you need to get a pack of cigs and you're walking in the cold knowing damn well you should be driving. Now I'm a driving fool. I pull up next to the cops and let out motherfucking belly laughs. Like AAHHHHAAAAA HAA HAAA HAAA fuckers.
My blackberry was totally messed up. When I say messed up, I don't just mean the trackwheel was ruined, I mean that the company I used to work for finally figured out I had friends there still, who kept the shit on. They have a lot of nerve turning it off.
That is just my luck with electronics I guess.
My laptop is also fucked. It isn't beyond repair or anything but I'd rather buy a new one, like I got it like that or some shit. Most of the vowels on the keyboard are messed up, the motherfucking AEIOU and can you believe this shit? Sometimes the Y doesn't even work. To be honest, I watch a shitload of porn on the computer, but I have never nutted on the keyboard. So none of this sticky key shit is absurd.
Its been a few weeks after election day and I am slowly coming back to normalcy. I really don't even know what to do with myself. I find myself watching MSNBC like there is going to be some news that I missed 8 weeks ago. For weeks from 5pm to 2am I was like a zombie in front of the television. I hated to talk on the phone or be bothered during those hours. My girl knew I was going to answer the phone kust to say I have to call her back because Chris or Keith was on the tube. I kind of miss all of the stuff in a way. But what do I do now?
From The BlackBerry
Another reason is my personal life which I won't get into detail about. If you have read anything I have wrote before, I'm willing to bet you fools think I went ape shit on some chick or something like that. Blah, I haven't the time for anger. Well, I do, but nothing to write about. Amazingly, I am not whoring around these days. I don't even have the urge to. I don't think I do. Check back with me in a year on that.
Holy shit, I finally paid all the tickets off and went and got my license back. A whopping $4500 to many a city, to many a court, to many a dmv(well, one anyways). The sad part is that I could have handled the shit eons ago, but I take much pride in my good intentions and zero follow through. It started getting cumbersome driving around with no L. It sucks when you need to get a pack of cigs and you're walking in the cold knowing damn well you should be driving. Now I'm a driving fool. I pull up next to the cops and let out motherfucking belly laughs. Like AAHHHHAAAAA HAA HAAA HAAA fuckers.
My blackberry was totally messed up. When I say messed up, I don't just mean the trackwheel was ruined, I mean that the company I used to work for finally figured out I had friends there still, who kept the shit on. They have a lot of nerve turning it off.
That is just my luck with electronics I guess.
My laptop is also fucked. It isn't beyond repair or anything but I'd rather buy a new one, like I got it like that or some shit. Most of the vowels on the keyboard are messed up, the motherfucking AEIOU and can you believe this shit? Sometimes the Y doesn't even work. To be honest, I watch a shitload of porn on the computer, but I have never nutted on the keyboard. So none of this sticky key shit is absurd.
Its been a few weeks after election day and I am slowly coming back to normalcy. I really don't even know what to do with myself. I find myself watching MSNBC like there is going to be some news that I missed 8 weeks ago. For weeks from 5pm to 2am I was like a zombie in front of the television. I hated to talk on the phone or be bothered during those hours. My girl knew I was going to answer the phone kust to say I have to call her back because Chris or Keith was on the tube. I kind of miss all of the stuff in a way. But what do I do now?
From The BlackBerry