Non cigarette smokers are the most hypocritical people on the face of the earth. It’ like the world is against us smokers. I know its bad for you and all, and some biased studies have even said it is bad for other people. I still refuse to believe that. But who am I? the worse hypocrites are mafuggas that smoke blunts. Arrrggghhh!!! Or anyone that uses any drugs period. I once had a mafugga in front of me shooting heroin in his arm talking about, “man, them things will kill you”. Man, shut the fuck up, didn’t you find that needle in the middle of Washington square park? Lemme take out this cancer stick out the blunt yo. Lemme take out this cancer stick out the blunt yo. Nigga, its still a tobacco leaf!!!

The worse ones are the effing idiots that have a fake ass cough when you are smoking around them. “coughcough” shut the fuck up!!! Hypocrites!!! Fuck it, I smoke. And the more people tell me I should quit, the more I light up. And besides that, I drink like a fish, so I need something to keep focused on while I am falling out of my chair. I bust my ass eventually, but you will never see that cigarette drop, nope, nada. I once dated a crazy vain chick who said to me that, she didn’t want to grow old, she wanted to die while she was still beautiful. Then here’s the hypocritical shit. She then tells me that she wants me to “prolong my life, and wants us to grow old together. You’re going to kill you and me”. I’m like what the fuck?!!! So I say, “sweety, you just said that you want to die young, well shit, I am trying to help YOUR ass out, you don’t appreciate shit, do you?!!!

The world is full of hypocrites. People that don’t eat pork, always telling me that i’m going to die eating that shit. Don’t you know the same mafugga that was shooting heroin with a dirty needle told me that, ‘that stuff will kill ya” me= screw face. Why I ought a. you know what will kill you? Stress. Stress will kill any sorry bastard. Ive been so stressed out lately. Like, I know my landlord who lives downstairs from me owns a few guns, so it is pretty stressful trying to sneak in and out the house. He smokes, and I tried to pay him with cartons. No dice.

Women stress the living hell out of me. Its like we men cannot do anything right. Always being directed. Bossed around. Lemme tell ya. Never never ever ever ever take money from your woman. She wont let you forget it boy. And if you don’t say thank you within the first 3 seconds of receiving it, be prepared for war. A woman that will help you out financially will talk down to you like you were the first born piece of shit. Like you were an ugly baby with a lisp, and a problem with loose bowels. Seriously.

I know for a fact that I have a sign on my forehead that only crazy women see. It has to read; I love crazy bitches. It just has too. Anyone here ever have an online relationship? I mean a serious online relationship. You know your up all night chatting. Sending heart smileys and shit. Your in jersey, she’s in Oklahoma. Man shit, the internet is full of liars. Do you know how many records I produced, how many books I wrote, how many planes I flew while sitting on my ass in my boxers, smoking a cigarette, only leaving the monitor because I thought the mailman was there with my unemployment check? Sheeiiiittttt. If it was up to me I would have ran a senate campaign from my studio apartment. Don’t get me wrong, I love women, its just that sometimes you all don’t know when to shut the hell up. I may go online and look for a deaf or mute chick. Man that would be fucking splendid. Maybe not deaf though, because I’m in no mood to walk around with a chalkboard all day. Bitch, this aint pictionary. No no no, that isn’t a picture of a donut, that’s your pussy.

I had sex with a deaf woman before. I have a conscious and all, but when it was time for me to go while she was sleep, I didn’t have any paper to write down that I had to go ya know, and I used up all the paper in my notebook trying to convince her to even have sex. I know the next time I saw her it wasn’t good. You have not been cursed out until you have been cursed out buy a deaf chick. Mumble mumble mumble with exclamation marks.

They say I suffer from depression. No shit I say. Have you seen my paycheck, or lack thereof? I think most of us suffer because we fucked up a lot in the past, and alllll of that comes back, and bites you in the ass.

Suicidal thoughts are a bitch. I used to smoke a lot of weed, and just dwell on shit. Then get sad and what not. But I guess it was kind of good, because weed makes you lazy as shit. And p-noid. Weed is the gateway drug. I don’t believe that shit at all. If a mafugga started smoking weed, and then elevated to some other shit. That just means it was in that bastards destiny to become a crackhead.

I am serious, that is science, scientifically studied by renowned scientists who’s job it is to practice science and come up with scientific deductions. When someone comes and tell me, “Yo man I am a recovering crack addict” I say, you shouldn’t feel bad, because that was meant for you, that shit is destiny. Ya see, me, I am very spiritual, now I am not blaming God for this, I blame the guardian angels, im sure its divided up there like republicans and democrats. If you have a democrat, chances are you gonna be fucked up in the game. It was your destiny to pick up the pipe and sell your own momma’s jewelry. Its like you should have known when you was a child and played the flute. Matter of fact, you may have even sold that very flute.

I know a lot about destiny. Like when I start a new job, I say “I know I’m going to get fired from here” you know why? Because it’s destiny man. Actually, I am tired of losing jobs because of this syndrome I have. Its called the angry black man syndrome. I thought it was a myth until I went past the funny mirrors at the company picnic and saw I was the only nigga not smiling. And I was under the impression that them shits are supposed to change the appearance. And lets not forget that I smoke, and I have to take a smoke break after everything I have done, so like if I have 10 things to do at work, that’s 10 breaks. Shit, it’s called the 8 hour science.

Do they have tests for adults that see if you are retarded or not? I want to take one man. I need an excuse for half of the shit I do. I know that I have to be, because bright lights hurt my eyes. And I be blinking and shit, twitching. Now it is either that or I’m an albino with the best tan 30 years running.

I don’t think that retard is the pc thing to say, but if the tests come back positive, I am going to protest to bring back the term. How can you ask a mentally challenged person to say mentally challenged, without spitting in someone’s eye. Man, I’m hoping hell isn’t a real place. Because I see the online congrats invitation right damned now.

I don’t like when people look directly at me. I sometimes feel violent, because I think they are trying to steal my soul or something. Like when old people look at me for too long, I think they are trying to steal my youth. I know that’s science because the next day, I don’t feel like masturbating more then once, I am watching infomercials. There are pains in my body. Places I never knew existed hurt. But when people look at me with intensity, I feel my soul leaving, it may be crazy, but I even make the noise that you hear when your soul is leaving. Orrghhhh Haaahnnn Whooaaa Arrggggghh. Bitchhhhhhhhhh fades out.

This is therapeutic.

Someone said I should slow down on m drinking. And I say, you should speed up or something. I have a problem with perfection. Actually, I think its cool to have a lot of damn problems. You know what, I do drink too much and I will admit it here tonight. After I drink a couple of more drinks, I will admit it. You know, I don’t really like to admit to my faults, that’s being a loser, and losers quit, and for me to quit drinking would be a fuckin shame.

You all know that the end of the world is in 2008 right? It’s Science.